The topic of sex abuse, particularly child sex abuse, is a daunting one for parents. Every parent must consider many factors, including the best age-appropriate way to discuss the topic. Below are some points to consider, provided by the Office of Child and Youth Protection of the Archdiocese of St. Louis.
- Make sure you are composed before you talk to your child.
- If you believe your child is aware of news concerning abuse in the diocese, or concerning a priest your family knows, start the conversation. Not talking about a difficult situation can make it even more threatening in your child’s mind.
- Listen carefully to what your child is asking or talking about.
- Clarify any of your child’s concerns before you answer. Sometimes we make assumptions and give far more information than the child needs.
- Keep your answers simple and brief. Do not answer questions that have not been asked. Do not overload your child with information that is beyond his/her level of understanding.
- Assure your child that you and other adults who are in charge are doing everything possible to make sure they will be safe. This will give them a sense that adults are actively taking steps to protect those who are currently suffering.
- Do not make guarantees that such a thing can never happen again. Words like “never” and “always” should be used very carefully, because small children trust that this is a promise from you.
- Explain that we often do not know why people treat other people badly.
- Try to limit your child’s exposure to media coverage. A child believes what he or she sees on television, or in the newspapers, is true — regardless of whether or not it is, in fact, true.
- Let your child know the archdiocese is taking many steps to make sure people will no longer be harmed.
