How good are your reflexes?
You probably have seen this reflex before: << Tap knee >> That reaction is the knee jerk reflex, or sometimes called the knee jerk reaction. While it is one sign of a healthily-functioning body, we also have other types of knee-jerk reactions. These knee-jerk reactions wreak havoc on relationships and stifle our souls. And we all have them.
For example… you might recognize one or two of these in yourself:
- When someone gets in front of us on the highway and drives too slowly, we honk or yell (or gesture). It’s a knee-jerk reaction.
- If our spouse says a single word about that incident again, we get defensive and point out one of their shortcomings. It is a knee jerk response.
- The first time someone complains about us, we grab a beer.
- When we hear any politician say those words. we immediately curse.
- When our girlfriend challenges us, we shut down and won’t talk.
- If we come into the house and we’re alone, we turn on the TV.
- Every time we start to feel lonely or stressed, we eat something.
It seems like “I can’t help it”, right? “It’s just a knee jerk reaction, a reflex. I can’t help it.” The truth is: Yes – I – can.
In today’s Gospel, we hear Jesus’ inaugural mission statement. He says, “God has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.”
And I wonder, does it ever dawn on me/us that – those captives who need to be set free? – they might be US?
WE are among the captives God wants to set free. Not just ‘those nameless people in prison out there’. But US! And among the things we need to be free of, whether we are aware of them or not, are those “Knee-jerk reactions”. And what Jesus wants for us at the beginning of his ministry, is to know freedom. To live authentic spirituality is to grow in true freedom. Everything that Jesus invites us to know in this inaugural address, and through all his ministry – even the hard things and perhaps especially the hard things – has the goal to set us free. Free to love, to sacrifice, to give, to choose, to serve, to embrace all that leads to the kingdom.
Our lives do not need to be filled with “knee-jerk” reactions. There is a new way… But I suggest that it does not come without three things: Awareness; Intentionality; Spaciousness
First, Awareness: Do I have any knee-jerk reactions? What are they? Becoming aware – without shaming ourselves – is always the first step towards growing in freedom. If you don’t think you have knee-jerk reactions, just ask the ones you live with. Your closest friends and your family could tell you those ways you react that seem less than free; that seem to be a knee-jerk reaction. Maybe we don’t want to even believe that we have them… but we’ll never change without first having that awareness. So, invite a loved one to gently help you see.
Secondly, Intentionality. How do I really want to be? The next time your dad comes down on you for not having amounted to much, or your mom gives you that ‘look’ – how would you like to respond? What do you want to say? The next time one of your students/teachers or neighbors/relatives rolls their eyes; says those words; acts that way, what would you LIKE to say or do? After we become aware, we need get intentional about how we would truly want to respond.
Thirdly, in that moment, we need some Spaciousness: an openness to the presence of God right then and there. Once you become aware that your hot button has been pressed, take a breath… Slow down. Remember that love is there. Drink in the presence of the one who came to set captives free – including you.
A quick example for me these days. Someone wants to talk about the crisis in the church, and brings up the Philadelphia grand jury report. My reflexive response is to point out some of the flaws in the report, especially how it treats the past 70-80 years of society, psychology and church responses as if nothing has changed during that whole arc of time. (There is so much there that we needed to see, I get that!) And then I want to launch out on a diatribe of all that the church HAS done since 2002. That’s the knee jerk reaction. But I catch myself. I want to respond differently. My intentionality is to not knee jerk an answer. So, I breathe a short prayer, “Be with me – let me love as you would.” And then I choose to simply listen first. What are they saying that I need to hear? Can I help THIS concern, THIS experience of pain, THIS person’s faith struggle? How do I set THEM free and not just respond defensively.
And so it goes. I am sure you know YOUR examples. With awareness; with intentionality; then with a little spaciousness in the moment, it does not have to be the way it has always been. You don’t have to be captive to those reflexive reactions.
<< Tap knee >> We know this knee jerk reaction. And we know the ones that stifle the soul and hurt our relationships. Let us pray to the God who sent his son Jesus to set captives free that we might know that deeper freedom. Might we, too, be free as Jesus was to proclaim good news to the poor, to set captives free, and announce, by our lives, a year of favor from our God.