What are you resolved to do in your life?
Funerals come in threes, or so it always seems. What amazed me about the recent trifecta of celebrations here at SJM was this – the length of time each one had been married. 55 years. 59 years. And a month shy of 69 years. I mean, I didn’t think they let people who were 5 years old get married. And I reflected – “What is it that allowed these couples to live together so well and so long a time?” I think it comes down to a single word, and one which is at the heart of today’s gospel message. Not love, but Resolve. They resolved to be faithful till death do them part. And nothing would deter them from that commitment, freely chosen. And I was privileged to celebrate with three families the completion of that promise, the fulfillment of their resolve.
These last few weeks, Luke’s gospel has been alternating between the demands of the gospel and the experience of God’s consolation. One week, we hear about the cost/demands of being a follower and the next we hear about what can you expect from being one. Today is about the “resolve part”. And you have to remember the context to understand what Jesus is saying and HOW he is saying it.
Jesus is on his way to Jerusalem where he knows he will die. So he turns to those following – “the crowds”. He’s not talking to his disciples or apostles here, but the curious, those swept up by emotion, those following hoping for personal gain, those who are fascinated with Jesus, because he is the latest “THING” and they want “IN”, they want the bonus without the onus. Jesus looks at them and knows that they are not yet ready for what following him will cost. And, rather than lead them on, rather than dupe them, he challenges them. Are you willing to let go of those primary and foundational relationships – family, friends, relationships, even your life – so that you can take up your cross? And the word he uses is “HATE”. (Greek – misein – from misanthrope, misogynist, etc) You cannot follow me unless you HATE father and mother, brother and sister. In fact it is so easy to get lost in that word that we lose what he is teaching us.
Using that ‘all or nothing’ kind of idiom that was popular in Jewish society – Jesus paints the choice in such an extreme way that you realize: YOU DO HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE. You can’t slide into this kind of commitment. The ‘yes’ that will stay willing, that will stay committed for 55, 59 and 68 years of marriage, is the one that will brook no compromise. Jesus will be my savior and Jesus will be at the heart of my marriage and my life because I put him there, or it will not last. The winds will come and the troubles appear, and anything less than that will fail you. Are you resolved to treasure friendship with Jesus above anything else? – that’s what matters. That’s the gospel invitation.
And when it gets difficult – what do you do? What keeps you resolved? What keeps you going on?
l. Jesus tells us two strategies – First, calculate what you need for the day/week. Like someone about to go to war or building a structure, ask: “What do I need for this particular event or this particular day? Last week was a three major homily week – (plus the gradeschool homilies – finding time for thse was key, as well as a Deanery meeting that needed extra prep time. This weekend is the introvert’s nightmare one – with events each day that call me to engage – so creating some quiet time so I can be present has been crucial. People who stay resolved are always calculating – what do I need to do to stay alive, happy, healthy and growing in this commitment?
Second, look at what needs to go in your life – Jesus points out possessions. But he could easily have added addictions, excuses, sloth, anger, pride… What do you cling to more than you cling HIM?
2. Go back to the place where it became clear when and how you were to lay down your life? I remember clearly the morning I was ordained, looking down that long aisle at the Cathedral, as a voice spoke quietly in my thoughts – (I who had struggled long and hard with the decision for priesthood) “Well, Lord, I guess this is what I am going to be doing – no – what WE are going to be doing for the rest of my life .” And with that freedom, I set out on what has been the adventure of a lifetime. So, take out the wedding album. Visit the church of marriage. Enter into that memory – draw strength from the yes that you spoke so you can speak it again.
3. Finally, do what Jesus did at his moment when his resolve was fading in the garden the night before he was to die. Pray and specifically, pray: Not my will, but yours be done. And then surrender to what God will do with that prayer…
The good news in our gospel today is that the Journey can be lived faithfully. We know couples who have lived it for 55, 59 and 69 years. And we don’t have to “Hate” our spouse, our family members to do so. But we do need to be resolved to make the journey. At this altar let us RESOLVE to do all we need to be faithful to our commitment to be a disciple.