Mary or Martha? Whom do you resemble most?
I have always been a Martha. I make no bones about it. Given the choice between mingling with the guests and being in the back serving/cooking, I will always choose being in the back. Perhaps that is because cooking is cheaper than therapy or because I have been taught since day one to be a servant, the net result is the same. I always think that I am a Martha and that Martha got a bum rap.
It is not all her fault, though. Hers and Mary’s and Lazarus’s house had been a kind of home-base when Jesus came back from his travels, a place to recharge his batteries. And in today’s gospel Jesus does appear to just show up, un-announced, with a few of his apostles in tow. And that puts Martha into overdrive, trying to be the proper host. Someone has to do the shopping, the food preparation, the serving, the cleaning up, and handle the logistics of these house guests—even if they are dear and intimate friends. And that someone is Martha – the responsible one, the worker bee, the Type-A hard-charging “get it done” head of this household.
It is important work. Needed work. Gospel work – this hospitality that she provides. But here is where it goes wrong for her, and what is the danger for all of us who identify with her. She is not just distracted and distraught by her “to do” list, but in that distraction, in that business, she misses her opportunity to ‘meet Jesus’. And you can tell, because it comes out in her frustration with her sister. Mary is not helping her with the necessary work.
And I can imagine Martha pounding out the dough to make the evening bread. And with every pound of her fist into the dough she mutters another phrase under her breath . . .
- She always
does this. Sits as if she is apostle at
his feet, and I’m stuck in the kitchen.
But dinner won’t make itself.
Someone has to do it! A bit
of time passes. More pounding of the
dough.
- Where is she? She knows how much work it is to host Jesus.
And then she starts to get mad at Jesus. (More pounding)
- Why won’t Jesus send her back to the kitchen to help? Doesn’t he see? Doesn’t he care? I’m doing everything here…
If Martha’s slaving away had been an act of love freely given, I think Jesus would have been delighted, and would have praised her as well as Mary. Instead of meeting Jesus with her service, instead of sitting at his feet by giving of herself and her skills, she misses the encounter that was there to be had. So pre-occupied with the unfairness of it all, she storms into the front room to set things right, to scold Mary—and in some ways, to scold Jesus too. “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me.”
Jesus response is telling. “Mary has chosen the better portion, the necessary thing to encounter me.” As if to say: “You are busy about so many things that you miss what is before you. The joy of your service and the gift of your hospitality is such a blessing to me. But instead of that making you present to me, it just made you bitter at Mary. Instead of that centering you in your love for me, it made you miss the chance to encounter me THROUGH your love of service.”
“You are busy about many things. So much so, that you miss the encounter with me.” That is always the danger in being a Martha. When you make a habit of serving in the background, it leads to a choice to STAY in the background, and to never do the hard work of encountering Jesus and his guests. I know that is true for me. I choose to stay in the background because I really don’t want to meet Jesus like Mary does. I fear it might cost me. I fear it might challenge me. I fear it might ask of me an even deeper surrender. So, I always need to hear Jesus’ words addressed to Martha. Don’t miss the encounter in the midst of the business.
It was not a bum rap that Martha gets. It was an invitation laid before her by a gentle savior. Hear that same invitation to you, whether you already sit at our Lord’s feet habitually, or keep busy so that you won’t have to. Let your love for the Lord, expressed in listening or in service, deepen with each day, each chance to meet the one who comes to us at this altar