IF you could get rid of one word from the English language, what word would you choose?
I want to get rid of the word NICE from the English language. Or minimally, I want to remove it from the “religious language” vocabulary list. Because I fear that I have been guilty of taking the gospel imperative to love and reduced it to just being NICE. I’ve heard way too many eulogies where that was the operative word to describe the deceased. It is not a bad word. However, that is not what Jesus was about. Nice is not what got Jesus into trouble in that synagogue in Nazareth. Nor is it what Paul was speaking about in this chapter of Corinthians when he writes about love.
It is almost impossible to think about this passage in Corinthians without thinking about weddings. Because these prose words are so profound, many couples use them to mark the beginning of their life together. But that was not the original context and intent of this passage. Paul is writing it to a community of believers who had been in violent disagreements with each other. People who were backstabbing and vain and proud and putting themselves first – and that was just what was going on at mass!
Paul speaks these words to a community that was hugely divided over the very thing that should have brought them together – the various gifts of the Spirit. Mustering all the poetry at his command, Paul cuts through all the “Nice” that people wanted to believe about themselves as a community, and hopefully, brought them to experience the truth about love. Love is not nice. It as so far beyond nice as the love between a couple on their 50th anniversary is from their wedding day love… Paul wanted his Corinthians to know the radical nature and challenge of the call to love one another.
It wasn’t until I was on a retreat with some college students several years ago that I got the sense of Paul’s letter. As an introduction to the time of hearing confessions, they gave each person in the chapel a lit candle. And then gave them the simple instruction: When you hear the part of the reading where you realize you have not lived like what the reading describes – blow out your candle. When you hear a phrase that you are unwilling to live, blow out your candle. Then they began.
“Love is patient. (poof – a single candle went out) Love is kind. (poof, poof- about 3 more candles went down.) Love is not jealous. (poof, poof, poof- a LOT of candles were now dark.) It is not inflated.” (more went dark) By the time they got to “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things,” the chapel was dark…
I would like to think that somewhere up in heaven, St. Paul was cheering at that moment. “Finally,” he is thinking, “some people have it right. Finally my reading has not been hijacked by all the sentimentality of a wedding ceremony.” Love is not just about “nice.” It is about changing your lives and behaviors in a radical way that trusts and believes and hopes and endures ALL things. Jesus was thrown out of the synagogue because he dared to say “I have come to fulfill the love that God intends – and it is more than just being nice. It demands that I go beyond this ‘nice synagogue community’ at Nazareth and proclaim good news to Gentiles as well. And while I am at it, I will be reaching out to prisoners – not exactly the best kind of people there – and outcasts, and people you think are sinners because they are blind or crippled or suffering from a disease – because that is what God’s love is about. It is about proclaiming the reign of God in your midst in real, practical and concrete ways…
So this week, I have some homework for you. The first is to do what those college students taught me years ago – to use this letter of Paul as an examination of conscience. Go through it at the end of each day, line by line, with one small change. EVerytime you see the word “Love” – substitute YOUR name. “Fr. Bill is patient. Fr. Bill is kind, Fr. Bill does not…” and when you get to the phrase that you can’t say you’ve lived that day – then stop and ask for mercy and forgiveness. And see if you can get a little farther the next night because of how you lived that day.
And then, first thing in the morning, read it again, but this time, every time you see the word “LOVE” – substitute the word “JESUS” in its place. “Jesus is patient. Jesus is kind…” Let that reveal for you the presence of the one at Nazareth, who came to let the scriptures be fulfilled in your hearing and life that day…
St. Paul did not use the word “nice” in his description of love. The love we are called to live is so much more. It has to match the sacrificial love we know and receive from this altar so that we can become that love to all the world.