Have you ever gone away sad?
The gospels are often frustrating to me in that they never tell what I think are the important details in a lot of the stories. Today’s is no exception to that rule. I want to know WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? What happened to that rich young man in the story?
In my mind’s eye, he’s a young, college age kid. He RUNS to Jesus. So excited. So ready to do whatever is asked. He got the parents’ permission to go on the two week long service trip with Jesus. He’s proud of his credentials – He has kept all of those commandments. He is ready.
And Jesus is impressed by him. More than impressed. It is the only recorded line in the gospel where we are told that Jesus looked at someone and loved them. So you can imagine the intenseness of this interaction. There is a lot going on. “What must I do?” “You know already.” “Done that – but there has to be more”. “Don’t you see, I’m young, and on fire with love and ready to give and go anywhere and do anything – PUT ME IN COACH!…”
Jesus looking at him, loved him. And because he loved him, he presses this man. You can be so much, so amazing, such a gift. But there is one thing that will get in the way of your goals – here is what will prevent your downfall. “Sell everything, give it to the poor. Then come and follow me.” The rich young man goes away sad. As hopeful as the line about Jesus looking at him and loving him, is as tragic as that little line: “He went away sad.” That’s all we hear of the story.
I’m dying to know how it turned out. Did that “Look” of Jesus weigh on the young man’s heart? Did he take some time to sort it all out, get his head on straight and eventually come around to say, “I’ve gotta go back and follow him. There is nothing better to do nor more important to be than his follower.” Or was he haunted, both by Jesus’ word and his choice not to say yes when he had the chance.
I wonder about the young man’s response, because I know there are times when I don’t ‘sell my possessions’, don’t seek to know and understand that part of my life that gets in the way of my following Jesus. Jesus’ desire was that the young man be FREE to follow him, unencumbered by anything. Yet, there is within me, the same seed that allowed the man to go away sad….
As you know, Fr. Johnson and I had the luxury of some time away with our brother priests this week. Here is my moment of Jesus looking at me with love, and asking of me to make a commitment. Cardinal Dolan gave our day of recollection on Thursday. He said this: “When Lawyers get together, they talk about law. When Doctors get together, they talk about medicine. When priests get together, they talk about … sports.” He continued: “We are so good, brothers, at speaking about him from the pulpit. How come we fail so utterly in our normal conversations?” And I knew it was true in my life. It is hard for me to speak of Jesus in my ordinary conversations. And at that moment, I felt the Lord looking at me with love, and asking me to ‘sell my reluctance, my lack of courage, my failures to speak of him” and follow him.
“He went away sad, for he had many possessions.” Jesus wanted so much from that young man and so much for him. And he wants so much from us as well. In your prayer this week, have a conversation with him. Have him look at your with love. SEE that gaze. Let it touch you in the center of who you are. Stay in that gaze until you become aware of the ‘yes’ that you want to say to him. And then hear him say to you: There is one thing more you must do…
Once you hear that, then lay that upon this altar/the altar of your prayer. And if, like that young man, you can’t do that yet, then pray to want to want to do that. Leave it in the Lord’s hands’, who promises us that all things are possible with God…